Bullying vs. Teasing: Is
there a difference?
By Rachel Falk- GE School Guidance Counselor
Bullying has become the new buzzword, which is unfortunate. Bullying is a very serious act with a very
definite definition. The definition of
bullying, according to stopbullying.gov, is to hurt or scare someone who is
weaker or smaller, bother the same person repeatedly, and have malicious
intent. The definition of teasing,
according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is to laugh at and criticize in a
way that is either friendly and playful or cruel and unkind. There are laws surrounding the acts of
bullying and legal ramifications that exist when an individual bullies another
person.
So why am I choosing to write on this particular topic? I feel it is important for all parents to
understand the difference due to the hyper focus the media has given the word
and action, bullying. It has been in the
media spotlight for several years now due to the increase in bullying behaviors
due to technology and social media. Therefore,
it makes sense that families feel that bullying is ever present and are
concerned when their child comes home with a story of harassment.
I believe, based on the research put forth from the
Committee for Children, and Sources of Strength, that part of growing up is to
work through problems and gain the resiliency needed to deal with
social-emotional relationships.
Playground, lunchroom, and class time issues abound in all areas of the
country. It is never a comfortable
situation to have one’s child come home and describe an incidence of being
picked on at school that day. However,
it is extremely imperative that parents ‘respond,’ not ‘react.’ Children look to the adults in their lives to
see what is appropriate and what is not.
If we respond by letting our child know we are sorry that the incident
occurred and ask how they worked through it, we are letting our child know that
we think they are capable and have the ability and knowledge to work through
the problem. If we get upset and start yelling,
and let our child know that we will go right down to the school and ‘handle’
it, the message is one of incapability of the child, as well as taking the
child’s power away and the belief that he/she can problem solve.
There are four types of bullying: 1. Physical; kick, punch, push, steal, or
damage your belongings, 2. Verbal; call names, threaten, or hurt feelings, 3.
Social; exclusion, gossip, rumors and 4.
Cyber bullying; takes place on the internet, through text messaging; and
on cell phones. People who bully others
usually do it to: Get attention; feel
important; feel powerful; be in control; and make themself feel better by
making others feel poorly.
What are we doing at Glenshire to create an environment that
cultivates empathy, kindness, and inclusion?
We are entering our third year of teaching Second Step, the social-emotional learning
program, TK-5th grades every Monday morning from 9:05-9:50. This program teaches kids four main components: 1. Skills for learning; listening
effectively, focusing one’s attention, using self-talk, and being assertive,
2. Empathy; learning how to identify and
understand one’s own and others’ feelings, take others’ perspectives, and show
compassion for others, 3. Emotion
management; the ability to identify and manage our strong feelings, and how to
calm down strong feelings, and 4. Problem-solving; the ability to solve
problems in safe and respectful ways, and develop skills for making and keeping
friends.
We will always work with students who are making
inappropriate choices and students who feel picked on and left out. But research shows us that in order to make a
long lasting climate change, there needs to be a common core of
social-emotional learning and a common language. Second Step has been adopted throughout TTUSD, TK-8, and taught to all employees, including our bus drivers, yard duty,
paraprofessionals, secretaries, special education staff, school psychologists.
. . Therefore, when we work with your
child in a social-emotional capacity we are all using the same language, the
language he/she has already been taught in the classroom on Monday mornings.
How can parents support this process? It is very important for the school and the
parents to be a partnership, a team effort in the education of the whole child. I will be having Second Step workshops for parents throughout the school year in order to teach you the program and how it can be implemented at home. Please go to the Committee
for Children website to learn all about this program and its importance. Additionally, feel free to call me at 582-3720 ext. 27351 with any questions.
